DEFINITIONS YOU MAY KNOW !!!

1. Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.

3. Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

4. Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

5. Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

6. Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

7. Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power ..

8. Dictionary :
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

9. Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

10. Ecstasy :
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

11. Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.

12. Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

13. Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life...

14. Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

15. Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

16. Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

17. Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master degree.

18. Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.

19. Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.

20. Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

21. Opportunist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

22. Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

23. Pessimist :
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

24. Miser :
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

25. Father :
A banker provided by nature.

26. Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

27. Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

28. Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

29. Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.

30. Computer Engineer :
One who gets paid for reading such mails